And then, and then he was all like pew-pew-pew!

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ls.jpgand I went zzzzZZZZWORRRG! and he was all "Ahh, my arm!" and I was like "Taste the heat of my lightsaber, beeyotch!" and then he did the force thing and threw a bunch of crap at my head with his mind and I was all "Oh no you d'in't!" and burned his face off with my mad skilz and then he went "Arrrrghoooo!" and fell down the ventilation shaft, so I went and had some coffee and finished up some paperwork and went home early, 'cause it's Friday and most people at the office slack off a little more during the holidays anyway.

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Hold the phone, when you say "back East", what exactly do you mean? 'Cause I don't want to have to say, um, kick your ass, if it was anywhere near where I am...I refuse to read further lest I be disappointed by your geographical location...

I was obliged to keep my exact location vague, to protect the innocent. But I'll drop you a line so we can arrange the ass kicking at a future time.

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Ian Wood on And then, and then he was all like pew-pew-pew!: "I was obliged to keep my exact location vague..."
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December, 2011
Originally appeared in Dispatch Litareview.
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