Bit of a mind flip

My instantaneous reaction of disgust (mixed with the strong desire to don a nice pair of seamed nylons) upon discovering that MTV was planning a remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show was immediately quelled by relief when I read that the project is now on hold.¹  As io9's Annalee Newitz wrote back in July:

But the fact is that Rocky Horror Picture Show doesn't need to be remade -- it's already its own remake.

The movie remakes and respawns itself week after week as new generations of teenagers discover it at local rep houses and learn that freaks are everywhere (and they can be freaks too). How can you remake something that has already been remade thousands of times over by its audiences? And by theater troupes who reenact it? Plus, there's simply no way that the 1970s sexytime tale of a "sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania" could ever be told or retold in an era of safe sex and gay marriage. These days, Frank N Furter would just get married to Rocky, settle down, and move to the suburbs. The characters we love in Rocky Horror, and that audiences talk back to in cities across the world, cannot be "updated." And they cannot ever be remade in a way more pleasing than we can remake them ourselves, in our local theaters, wearing silly makeup and carrying umbrellas.

I will accept Anthony Head as Frank N. Furter. On stage. But a movie remake? Don't dream it or be it. Just...don't. 

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¹Except for the nylon donning. Still need to get into some o' that. Und my life vill be lived for zuh thriiiillll...!