One Side of a Telephone Conversation Overheard Through an Office Door

I don't *hic* know...tell them whatever the hell you want.

I don't care.

Tell them I ate a plug of opium the size of a golf ball and got all constipated.

My public? Please. I'm like a monkey to them.

*hic*

I don't know, I've been hiccuping for like two days straight.

Because of the opium.

No. I'm not writing a goddamn thing, and there's nothing in my contract that *hic* that says you can make me.

UPDATE:

Cretinous swine. Don't call here again.