Ian Wood

The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.

Rainer Maria Rilke
Rome
May 14th 1904

2 Comments

By Anne on May 28, 2011 2:50 PM

Rilke exactly puts into words my idea of a satisfying marriage, or any intimate partnership. Finding that other person, however, would require the randomness of the Universe line up perfectly in one's favor - an unlikely event. Additionally, if solitude is being alone well, then solitude will always be beyond my grasp. Odd, considering i've been alone all but two of my adult years. Still, i'm human, thus prone to hope. And hear tell the Universe does occasionally smile.

By Ian Wood

on May 30, 2011 8:38 PM

I think Rilke's "solitude" is more a function of each of us being firmly encased within our own skulls, a state which, barring the development of some kind of telepathy, is unlikely to change.

And yeah, the Universe occasionally does. In fact, lately it's been wearing a big, shit-eating grin.